Life Skill: Compassion

by A. Salces Cajes, PhD

Compassion is hard to practice because our default mode is self protection. Anger occurs as the brain releases catecholamines that trigger a short-term burst of energy. J. Blair (2018) defines anger as “a response to a perceived threat to oneself or to another. It is a response to frustration”.

Anger is neither a pleasant experience nor a proper moment to make decisions. For sure, no one wants to work with an unpleasant person - the bearer of anger. To overcome anger, we redirect (not suppress) it. One way to redirect anger is by distraction — read a book, go to a beach, take care of your plants, or write a letter to the concerned person to express your frustration and then burn the paper or delete your file.

Another way is by reappraisal - listen, check the context, understand the events, etc. Reappraisal can help us become more compassionate. In the process we also train our brain — the supramarginal gyrus of our cerebral cortex — to differentiate our own emotional condition from that of other people. Thus, we have the power to manage anger and the capacity to practice compassion.

Let’s keep in mind Aristotle’s words of wisdom: “Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.”